Todays post has nothing to do with WoW. Sorry.
It's about cricket - The Great Game. My thoughts are focused on cricket for a number of reasons, the recent Ashes win by the English being one, and the fact that the first ever cricket match between my department at work and the rest of the geographically closest part of the organisation occurs next Tuesday afternoon.
Cricket is a amazing game, appreciated by many parts of the world (generally former British Colonies) whilst the rest of the planet watches bemused, not understanding what the fuss is all about. I have American friends who cannot fathom the existence of a sport where a match can last five days without a winner being found.
My Head of School is an appreciator of cricket as well. He recently forwarded me a quote he found years ago. Neither of us can find the source but for me, the Englishman, it sums up my feelings about the game.
For those who do understand, cricket is, and always will be, a sport which combines all aspects of the human psyche - mental, physical and emotional - into a competition where anything can happen and quite often does.
In fact, for me personally, cricket matches are generally decided by the mentally and emotionally stronger side. Physical prowess is an advantage, as is skill, but ultimately if you can get under the skin of your opponents nine times out of ten you will win.
Cricket matches can often be summarised as follows:
Two people with bats wander out into the middle of the field of play. The 11 opponents will then proceed to quietly abuse the two until the emotional state of the two reaches a point where they do something stupid. At that point one of the two walks off and is replaced by the next victim. Once there are no more victims, the teams swap positions and continue.
The term often used is 'Sledging'. As defined by wikipedia:
Sledging is a term used in cricket to describe the practice whereby some players seek to gain an advantage by insulting or verbally intimidating the opposing batsman. The purpose is to try to weaken the opponent's concentration, thereby causing him to make mistakes or underperform. It can be effective because the batsman stands within hearing range of the bowler and certain close fielders; and vice-versa. The insults may be direct or feature in conversations among fielders designed to be overheard.
Sledging is an art form make no doubt about it. In the history of the game there have been a great number of classic comments recorded. Many contain some rather strong language, and often question the sexual activities of wives/girlfriends/mothers. Most are not 'safe for work'. But I cannot resist quoting a couple of my (cleaner) favourites:
Of course some of the great batsmen have been famous for focusing their thoughts and punishing anyone who dared to sledge them. Viv Richards, West Indian great, was one such competitor. In one match when Richards was playing for the county of Somerset in England. Richard's missed a few balls and the bowler, feeling confident made a fatal error in judgement. "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering." he foolishly told Richards.
Without saying a word, Richards smashed the next ball out of the stadium, and into the river that ran alongside. As he wandered back past the bowler he replied "You know what it looks like, now go and find it."
Such moments happen at every level of the game, from international to local games. Even friendly games have sledging at its heart. Sledging is a subtle art and although there have been moments where comments have become unacceptably personal, its generally the clever comments that hit their mark faster than insulting the parentage of the batsman. Its part of the game I think sets it apart from any other.Another quote this time taken from The Independent:
What do you call an Australian that can handle a bat?
A vet
WHAT do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an OXO cube?
A laughing stock.
The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting.
They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast!
What’s the difference between Ricky Ponting and a funeral director?
A funeral director doesn’t keep losing the ashes.
Did you hear what the stump microphones picked up when The Ashes skippers tossed the coin on Boxing Day?
Andrew Strauss called correctly and, quick as a flash, said to Ricky Ponting: “You lads can bat.’’
Just as quick, Ponting replied: “No, we can’t. We really can’t.”
What’s the height of optimism?
An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.
What is the main function of the Australia coach?
To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Australian innings.
Have a great weekend dear readers :)
It's about cricket - The Great Game. My thoughts are focused on cricket for a number of reasons, the recent Ashes win by the English being one, and the fact that the first ever cricket match between my department at work and the rest of the geographically closest part of the organisation occurs next Tuesday afternoon.
Cricket is a amazing game, appreciated by many parts of the world (generally former British Colonies) whilst the rest of the planet watches bemused, not understanding what the fuss is all about. I have American friends who cannot fathom the existence of a sport where a match can last five days without a winner being found.
My Head of School is an appreciator of cricket as well. He recently forwarded me a quote he found years ago. Neither of us can find the source but for me, the Englishman, it sums up my feelings about the game.
If football is sport’s motorway, cricket is its A road, full of scenic delights and incidental pleasures. It is not the destination but the journey that counts. The cliff-hanging draw, preferably after a tense five-day struggle, is the perfect result in cricket: it is not a sport that, at heart, believes in resolution. It is, the late Lord Mancroft said, “a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity”.
For those who do understand, cricket is, and always will be, a sport which combines all aspects of the human psyche - mental, physical and emotional - into a competition where anything can happen and quite often does.
In fact, for me personally, cricket matches are generally decided by the mentally and emotionally stronger side. Physical prowess is an advantage, as is skill, but ultimately if you can get under the skin of your opponents nine times out of ten you will win.
Cricket matches can often be summarised as follows:
Two people with bats wander out into the middle of the field of play. The 11 opponents will then proceed to quietly abuse the two until the emotional state of the two reaches a point where they do something stupid. At that point one of the two walks off and is replaced by the next victim. Once there are no more victims, the teams swap positions and continue.
The term often used is 'Sledging'. As defined by wikipedia:
Sledging is a term used in cricket to describe the practice whereby some players seek to gain an advantage by insulting or verbally intimidating the opposing batsman. The purpose is to try to weaken the opponent's concentration, thereby causing him to make mistakes or underperform. It can be effective because the batsman stands within hearing range of the bowler and certain close fielders; and vice-versa. The insults may be direct or feature in conversations among fielders designed to be overheard.
Sledging is an art form make no doubt about it. In the history of the game there have been a great number of classic comments recorded. Many contain some rather strong language, and often question the sexual activities of wives/girlfriends/mothers. Most are not 'safe for work'. But I cannot resist quoting a couple of my (cleaner) favourites:
Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"
(as a side note Botham actually won this Sledging incident with his reply ""The wife's fine. The kids are retarded.")
Ian Healy & Shane Warne: A rather overweight Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga was batting. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the batsman to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
Of course some of the great batsmen have been famous for focusing their thoughts and punishing anyone who dared to sledge them. Viv Richards, West Indian great, was one such competitor. In one match when Richards was playing for the county of Somerset in England. Richard's missed a few balls and the bowler, feeling confident made a fatal error in judgement. "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering." he foolishly told Richards.
Without saying a word, Richards smashed the next ball out of the stadium, and into the river that ran alongside. As he wandered back past the bowler he replied "You know what it looks like, now go and find it."
___________________
As is so often the case in cricket, sledging is really a test of class. If you show humour, subtlety or character, even "personal" insults can intensify the sense of mutual engagement that ultimately sustains fellowship, even goodwill. In the same way, an essential decency will alter the nature of other, more blatant tactics of intimidation. If a fast bowler decks a batsman, and then shows gentlemanly concern, none need doubt his sincerity if he promptly bowls another bouncer. Stalking indifferently back to your mark, however, will often be recognised as insecure posturing.
Now as I am English, and as previously mentioned, we have just retained the Ashes after winning the Test series 3-1 in Australia, I had to take this opportunity to rip into my Australian readers. I don't generally forward or circulate e-mails I receive but this came in this morning from an Australia collegue so how would I resist the temptation to share. Enjoy._______________
What do you call an Australian that can handle a bat?
A vet
WHAT do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an OXO cube?
A laughing stock.
The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting.
They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast!
What’s the difference between Ricky Ponting and a funeral director?
A funeral director doesn’t keep losing the ashes.
Did you hear what the stump microphones picked up when The Ashes skippers tossed the coin on Boxing Day?
Andrew Strauss called correctly and, quick as a flash, said to Ricky Ponting: “You lads can bat.’’
Just as quick, Ponting replied: “No, we can’t. We really can’t.”
What’s the height of optimism?
An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.
What is the main function of the Australia coach?
To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Australian innings.
________________
Have a great weekend dear readers :)
2 comments:
A brilliant read Breevok as always. I'm an irishman who appreciates the finer art of cricket, and funnily enough, actually support England. This had a lot to do with their underdog status throughout the 90's so it's pleasing now to see them finally getting some decent consistency.
It will never extend as far as the footie or egg-chasing though.
Enjoy yer weekend mucker.
Truly excellent :)
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